leslie thompson sutherland 3/20/28-3/2/07

i once read (and i wish i could remember where) that, "your grandfather's coffin is heavier than you think, and your father's coffin is almost too heavy to bear."  i often think of that when i think of my dad and how stunningly difficult it has been to let him go.  three years later, sometimes i am still shocked when i remember that he's gone.

i don't think that i glorify his memory.  he was often moody, obstinate, overly critical.  he could not understand that people thought differently than he did.  sometimes we had to tiptoe around him, desperately trying not to make him mad.   he hated it when his tea wasn't hot, or when you bumped the table, or if you giggled in church. 

i guess, as you get older, you realize all the things people did that were right, in a behind-the-scenes sort of way.  now i can understand all that i never had to suffer because of my dad.  he worked so hard and so long to make sure none of us ever had to worry.  he provided for us and protected us.  he loved us above anything else. he was always there for us, and since we never knew any differently, we didn't know to appreciate it. 

he was a good father.  a good man. and he is missed.